For What it’s Worth

A letter to my dad after a long, somewhat heated discussion about my dis-belief in the LDS Church:


I think it is (somewhat) funny that we may be again resorting back to e-mail for means of communication as to avoid more heated discussions. Thanks for listening (again, somewhat) and for caring enough about me to tell me how you feel (“down here”- points to heart). For now, however, I choose to follow ” the middle way” or “ the third way” or be a “New Order Mormon“. Please do not push me out of the Church with talk of apostasy and “the Lord spewing out the luke-warm from his mouth”. If it is for me to “decide right now and get off of the fence”, then take a wild guess as to what I would decide to do. I choose to remain a member because I still feel I am a Mormon. I see many great things that the Church teaches and I know there is so much I can learn from meetings in the Church. Many others see things the same way as I (see links above and these links, too.)

You decided not to take that book about the Book of Abraham. Please do not profess to “know the issues” or to have “looked into the issues with me” for you clearly have not and probably will not. Here is a link to a smaller look into the Book of Abraham. You will find points of view from all sides on the issue.

Love always,



~ by bonoboi on November 28, 2006.

5 Responses to “For What it’s Worth”

  1. This reminds me of several years ago when my dad and I had an issue we couldn’t discuss civilly in person or over the phone. We ended up emailing and it worked out very well. We could each think through what we were going to say and erase things that were too hurtful. We could stew about an email for several days before we responded. It went on for a period of several months and was really quite valuable.
    Good luck.

  2. I could envision a similar e-mail conversation between my dad and I sometime in the future, if my NOMness ever gets out in the open (and I imagine it will). My dad and I don’t have the best communication, so e-mail works well for us, especially if there’s a potential for things to get heated.

    I’m glad that you’re at least having these conversations with your parents. I admire the courage it must take to raise these issues with them. My parents probably still think I’m their model, passionate TBM son.

  3. Bored, I can relate (sometimes writing is the best means of communication, especially when the topic is of a sensitive matter like this one). Thanks for the support.

    Steve, It will be interesting to see how things pan out for you. I had always decided to keep my NOMness to myself, but end up always being too open about things (I end up thinking to myself- “am I really saying this to a family member?”). I think that subconsciously I am thinking that whoever I am talking to will understand or even be able to give some good advice, but it usually ends up alienating me further. I think that you would be wise to keep things to yourself as long as you can. This seems so contrary to everything we know about integrity but the “Take it slow, take it really slow” mentality of NOM is really great advice. I just haven’t been able to follow it, myself.

  4. Bored, thank you so much for your poem I Put On Black. I just read it and don’t think it could have come at a better time for me.

  5. […] Honestly, I was thinking about writing a post exactly on this topic today when I saw that Steve M. and some commenters had pretty much covered it.  First of all, I wrote my dad an e-mail expressing that I was a NOM (New Order Mormon) which basically means (according to their website): New Order Mormons are those who no longer believe some (or much) of the dogma or doctrines of the LDS church, but who want to maintain membership for cultural and social reasons. […]

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