To be true to my own feeliings took a lot of courage, and I felt a great sense of relief when I left the church. However, it was also a very painful period of time. Of course, I felt many different emotions during the period when I made the decision that I would no longer be involved in the church. I felt sadness, anger …frustration because I felt inept in some ways socially “out in the world,” etc. I sought couselling to help me work through my feelings. And while I didn’t miss the teachings or dogma of the church, I did miss the LDS community. I didn’t like the fact that my actions would hurt my family … particularly my parents and grandparents.

As mentioned above I left the church quietly. I never sent an “exit letter” nor have I ever requested that my name be removed from church records. I rarely stepped foot inside an LDS church in the last 28 years (just to attend family funerals).

It has only been in the last month that I have looked up “former Mormon” websites — out of curiosity. I guess we all experience things very differently, but I find it difficult to understand why so many former members of the church need to make such an issue about leaving it. For me personally, there were many good things I experienced growing up in the Mormon church, even though I don’t think I ever really believed in it. When I read some accounts of former members, I don’t understand the anger that is expressed or the need to actively write againist the Mormon church. There have been times when I wished I’d been born to non-Mormons (same parents but non-Mormons would have been great), and that I wouldn’t have had to work through so many issues because I was raised in the church. But I could have been born into a much more dire situation and would have had to find my way out of it. I don’t understand the need to be perpetually angry at this entity called the “Mormon church,” or the leaders of it. Maybe I’m just “thick,” but I don’t understand the purpose of all this anger and people actively writing against the Mormon church.

Going back to being a “blind” TBM who thinks that after the prophet has spoken, the thinking is done…I don’t think it is possible for this to fully happen to a person if they have been fully presented the issues and has given them thoughtful (non-cog diss) consideration.

I think this is so true. At times I’ve wanted to go back to being a regular, orthodox Mormon, but I don’t think I can ever do that. I’ve realized that Mormonism will never be the same as it once was to me, and it’s a little bit scary.

If we leave the Church because we cannot intellectually come to terms with the dogma, then who are we leaving it to?

I can’t stand it when people say, “If you don’t like it, then leave.” Since when has that been the right way to deal with things? I don’t like a lot of things in America, but does that mean I should keep my mouth shut and leave? Likewise, we can’t expect anything in the Church to improve if every dissenter leaves.

My main concern with this choice [leaving the Church] is what it can do to family relationships. This should be approached with caution, having the family’s feelings put in first place.

Honestly, this would be my biggest concern with leaving the Church. It’s one of the main things that’s kept me in it. Mormonism isn’t just a religion; it’s a lifestyle, a culture, and a heritage. Leaving the Church would have disastrous consequences on my family relationships, and I don’t think I want to deal with that.

So I stay, because I love my family, because I cherish my culture, because I want to see the Church improve, and I really do see good in Mormonism. I’m not going to get up on fast Sunday and declare from the pulpit that the LDS Church is the “only true and living church” necessarily, but I do want to be a part of the Church.

Anyway, great post.